Wednesday, April 28, 2010

a big step ahead....

pondered and pondered, and at last i took the leap of faith.



not really something big, but i did something which i thought i will never do. but then, a few incidences in the past few weeks have set me on the thinking mode.

so, to ease the uneasiness in the heart and mind, i decided to jump into the well, not literally lah of course. but IT IS a well that i've jumped into. so i must jolly well learn how not to drown in the well. ok, dont mind me. like i said in my previous blog, otak tengah berserabut.

so one down. yeay! Alhamdulillah. not an easy decision, but Allah must have heard my prayers. He showed me the way, I believe.

May Allah guide me along in my new decision. And may Allah safeguard the hearts and minds of me and all those around me. Inshallah.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

down... but not out...

*ranting alert* *ranting alert*

now, what was i supposed to rant about? oh im down with swollen tonsils. how i got them, i storytelling you later k?

friday
usualy me and family are sheng-siong-ers. we shop at sheng siong for our monthly groceries. this month, i got a $200 NTUC voucher from the workplace, so we decided to skip sheng siong for this month and try shopping at NTUC lah pulak.

i expected that jurong point's carpark will be full to the maxima especially on a friday night. but it was so challenging finding a parking lot. and with the kancheong-spider, Yana, sitting beside me, it didnt' really help. now i know why Allah didnt let her continue her driving lessons hehehehe...!!! but yeah, finding a lot is like playing treasure's hunt. Yana was practically screaming, "kak, sini! sini! sini!" Cute kan adik aku. Excited bebenor.

but alas, got a lot and took note of the number - 158. went shopping, finished up the vouchers and had to top up $70 more (gulp!). then me and dad went to carpark to find our car while the mum and the sisters waited at one of the lobbies.

reached lot 158 and MY CAR IS NOT THERE! can you imagine how hard the heart must have thumped. and the dad was grumbling at me that i must have noted the number wrongly. called Yana and she said she's certain the number is 158. Yana said, it's ok she'll go down and help find the car. a while after, she called, "kak! ni kereter kat sini per, kat depan mata Yan. betol lah 158!" i was like blardy hell, which 158 is this man?

but at last, we found each other and we found the car. how blardy stupid is the carpark numbering? same B2 level but have duplicated numbers. but anyway, yang penting aku jumpa kereter aku.

the whole thing affected me so much that i had a nightmare that night. that we lost our car, and upon finding, we found all the inner parts missing, including the cd player and all. then in the nightmare, i was crying. AND I ACTUALLY WOKE UP CRYING, FULL MEDLEY WITH TEARS AND ALL! cekik darah!

saturday
went to geylang with mum and aton. met habibati Naqi there. ate lunch at the pasar. i had nasi pattaya and air longan. the nasi pattaya cheat my feelings one. it's just red nasi goreng with an oversized omellette on top of it. it wasnt even wrapped like a normal nasi pattaya.

then mum and aton went home. me and habibati stayed at darul arqam for a study session till maghrib. while studying, the throat became increasingly irritable. very irritable. by the time maghrib came, it was a full-blown sore throat already.

but still i braved the night to meet dear friend Suzi with Naqi for a chat session. we havent met each other for quite a while since she stopped joining the Arabic class. had dinner at Hanis, National Library. had our stories and laughter. thank you ladies. i really had an enjoyable night.

sunday
throat became unbearable. mum cooked nasi rawon that day but all i could manage was the rice with the gravy only. everything else looked suicidal to me. so the longan had done its damage. why the longan? coz the last time i had longan juice, i ran a fever of 40 degrees. i tot that was because i had TOO MUCH longan juice. but i think after this, for sure, i know, i cant take longan. farnie right. lychee can, longan cannot. now, what's the freaking difference?

monday
went to work to settle some things then went to the doctor. doctor said i have swollen tonsils. gave me pills of all colours. imagine me trying to swallow those things with the tonsils like that. FUN kaper? and i got a day's MC. went home and ate chicken soup with rice (i love you mummy!), and slept. and slept. and slept.

today
feeling slightly better. i think the tonsils are shrinking. they dont hurt that much already. but im very sleepy liao. the medicine effect? or i just slept too much yesterday? badan pun lembek mcm comforter.

but anyway, i have lots of things in the mind. too much. very the berserabut kepala otak but i guess one by one i will need to pull them apart.

hmmm.. till then, lemme enjoy Jake Sully aka Sam Worthington. I just bought the original DVD!! I think this is my 10th time watching this movie. and i can watch it 100 times over and over again...


And the postcards i got with the dvd purchase


The Hometree


Neytiri with her Ikran

Jake Sully, Neytiri & The Seeds of Eywa

Jake Sully, Neytiri and The Toruk
Till next time peeps! Im hoping to get a little nap before thinking about going home.. Zzzz.....


Thursday, April 22, 2010

*sigh*


im feeling so sad ah.
why uh?
pms kot?
but still, the heart so sad. sighhhhhhh.........


im just looking forward to Saturday. lots of things to do on Saturday. maybe then, the mind will be occupied and will forget all these sad things. Saturday, come fast leyyyy....!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

hatiku kene curik... LAGIK......

ok as the whole world knows, i have one jejaka idaman. and that is this guy.



don't know him yet? he is Ramy Ayach. donno who he is? go find out... hik hik hik....

now, there's another two who have stolen the heart... chehwah, chehwah...

ni sumer gara-gara menonton Star Academy 7 in youtube lah! i know of this competition for a long while now, just that I really didnt follow it up. till now. it's in the 7th season now. it's a singing competition by the way. and im rooting for these two guys to be in the finals. i dont know what i'll get by writing a blog abt these two guys. but what the hell. NAK BLOG JUGAK.

ready to see?
here goes!

the 1st one is Muhd Ramadan. you see his face, then you see the Ramy Ayach's face. then you know why i like him uwahahahahaha...!!! they even share the same split in the eyebrow, only different sides.





Ramy Ayach with Muhd Ramadan & Muhd Ali in Star Academy 7



the other one is Rami Chemaly.






Ramy Ayach with Rami Chemaly & Rayyan Eid in Star Academy 7

 
spot the similiarity? THE NAME! THE NAME! He shares the same name as Ramy Ayach lah dey. Only different surname and spelling.

And what's amazing is that these two guys have voices like Ramy Ayach. Really! Fi'lan! And that means, they have really good voices. Star material, buat album mesti laku types.

Oh well, here I go raving about them. I look forward to watch the show every Saturday. Coz they have their Primes on Friday in Lebanon. So must wait long long for the people to upload on youtube then can watch lah. haiz... bila nk dpt tengok channel arab kat spore eh?

for the meantime, lemme growl like a cougar and cuci mata mwahahahaha...!!!
and pada mereka-mereka yang kata aku gatal, please eh, aku masih single so masih bole menggatal. mwahahahahaha...!!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

a step into goodness, there'll bound to be setbacks...


donno whether this blog collect spiderwebs already. but yes, i've been so buzy, i didnt even bother to look into it. otak quite penat actually. been busy with so many things. im just awaiting for everything to be over. but nothing's gonna be over, right? life goes on. one done, others will pop out.

but anyway, a little update on my life. last friday, went on two makan sessions. i actually forgot i had a date with Rin that night. while gorging the set meal that consisted of soup, starter, main course and dessert, then i realised, shoot, i have another makan session with Rin that night.


after that lunch date with mum, i went around finding for baju uniform for our upcoming majlis maulud. alhamdulillah, found! cheap nak mampos punyer! hahaha...!! sent mum home before meeting Rin at Clementi for Japanese dinner.

aku berbual je world. in the end, i had RICE set again. tadi mcm iyer2 berbual ngan Rin aku kenyang. dah nmpk menu, nasik jugak aku carik mwahahahaha...!!! MACAM MANA TAK GEMOK. but it was a great dinner date with Rin. makan nyer sikit, ketawa nyer lebih mwahahahaha...!! thanks babe, it was a lovely dinner!

saturday was filled with two meetings back to back. 1 to discuss my committee's Maulidur Rasul event on 8th May 2010. everything's done Alhamdulillah. just hope the event is successful tahap gah punyer hahahaha...!!!

then went to the masjid to attend another meeting for the masjid's Maulidur Rasul event on 1st May 2010. this was where the heart ada terasa sikit. as you know by now, im appointed the setiausaha. so one of my job is to inform and remind members of meeting. in short, im the communicator between the masjid and the members.

well, i admit lah, i was late in sms-ing the committee members for the meeting that was held last Saturday. orang tak tau, i was so busy last week. mana keje, mana skola punyer mid-module test and of course all these other things. im not complaining but i really wished my back was covered.

i was ditegur because of the rush in communication. the whole blame fell on me walhal my busy-ness was already informed to the person who called the meeting. only when the day came, he didnt back me up. he just sat there, listening to all those complaints being rained on me.

lucky those people, im no longer the kurang ajar nak mampos person i was. i just smiled and took it in my stride. i kept reminding myself, nak buat keje amal jariah, mesti ada perkara2 mcm ni yang surface. ni sumer syaitan nak cocok kita suruh melatah ni. fine, i admitted my mistake and i said i will improve on it in future inshallah.

now im fine. i choose to hear it and let it pass. tak guna simpan kat hati. buat hati sakit buat per? betol? lagi byk aku diam, lagik byk aku dpt belajar bersabar. ni pun ujian Allah buat aku. dulu, skjp2 aku melenting. skrg dah tak boleh lagik, nak kene suppress that urge to melenting liao. kata nak jadik budak baik kan? amek kau, HAIRUNA. mwahahahaha...!!!

in any case, i hope to see a lot of you people on my majlis maulud on 8th May 2010. and please, do sapa me when you are there. i am very blur sotong-udang-ketam when im in a crowd. im hopeless in recognising people hahahaha...!!! you can get the details here.

in the meantime, just make du'as that the preparations go on fine and that both events end with a huge bang!

till next time, lollipops!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

good and pure..

those are names by the way. confused? whose names? sapa? sapa?

"good" derives from my name Hairuna. in arabic it is spelt with a "kha" in the beginning and it becomes Khairunaa. in actual fact, this is how my name should sound. Khairunaa. kha at the front and nun-alif at the end. Khair is goodness. add a nun-alif it becomes our goodness. sounds so farnie but in malay it's nice. "kebaikkan kami". meaning i am my parents "kebaikkan" coz kami is kata diri for them. chehwah chehwah! inshallah, semoga i behave the way my name sounds.

"pure" derives from my classmate-friend-sister-email buddy-all rolled into one, Naqi. full name dowan to say lah, wait she sue me how? wait she never friend me anymore how? hahahaha...!!! but for sure her name has the word Naqi in there. Naqi means pure in Arabic.

i call ourselves good and pure mwahahahaha...!! usually people will ask us, "how do you both know each other?" sometimes i will go practically blank and will think really hard. a-ah eh, bila we start growing so close with each other eh?

let's rewind back in time. we were in the same netball team. she was recruited into the team by another team-member. she was in school back then, i remember. and sometimes she would turn up for training, sometimes not. so we didnt really got close back then.

and then netball silently fizzled away (i wish to re-start but health issues always comes in the way)... but we kept in touch via Multiply. er, yeah, i know that website sounds very dinosaur-age but i still blog there leyyyy....!!! don't pray pray!

and then there it was in my blog, abt me wanting to learn arabic. she read it. and upon knowing that there's an admission going on in the school we are attending now, she let me know. ah, i guess that's where we started becoming buddies.

when i 1st met her for our 1st class, we were very very awkward with each other. see, coz i didnt know her really well before that. and gradually, 1 year after, we are like flesh and fingernail (isi ngan kuku lah!). we meet every week leh. not to mention the numerous email exchanges when we dont meet mwahahahaha...!!!

and now we seem to share a lot of interests together. i converted her into an arabic music lover. she hasnt managed to convert me to do anything yet, or have you Naqi? hahahahaha...!!! we keep meeting for revisions, for makan sessions and now she has even joined my committee for organising Maulud. my mum will be so pleased. she has one more daughter to fuss about mwahahahahahah...!!!

i can safely say she knows a lot abt me. and i thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend. we might be poles apart in personality and age (aku dah tuaaaaaa..........!!!) but we have the same gila2 kepala i think. or maybe im the more gila one until she also got affected mwahahahaha...!!!

naqi, this post is just for you. touching kan? but yes, from the bottom of my heart, i pray our friendship stay strong inshallah, dan takkan digugat mana-mana anasir2 buruk wagagagagagagaga.........!!!

this sounds very gay, i know but, uhibbuki katheeran ya ukhti...!!! *winks*

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

quote...

"lebih baik kenang dosa sendiri dari fikir kesalahan orang kepada kita. orang buat silap kat kita sebab kita ni masih ada dosa yang belum ditaubatkan."

thanks for this. i love this quote.

good day peeps!

Monday, April 12, 2010

of melting hearts...

Strongly opinionated


Degil

These are words that you can never take away from me. I've been like this since I was a kid. Maybe so, because I am the eldest offspring. So I'm usually left to make my own decisions. I have to answer my actions. And I do the covering up jobs for lots of people.

Maybe all these things have shaped me the way I am and that explains the three words you see up there.

And I am also involved in a lot of things. It's like if I'm not there, the rest will not continue on with certain plans. I get this sentence always, "alarh, yun takde... tak payah buat lah..." or maybe, I can be a huge clown who will make everyone happy just by being there. I take that as a compliment, thank you.

I have been very close to my relatives, be it the paternal side or the maternal side. Recently we had a discussion of having an event which we do always every year. Last year, they tried asking me whether I would allow them to do "something". That "something" is really something that I don't like. Me, being me, set an ultimatum. It's either they want that "something" to be carried out or I will not be part of it. Choose. They chose me.

I know that's very bad of me. But like I said, that's me. My personality. You take it or you leave it.

While discussing this event again recently, they decided to try asking me the same question. "yun boleh lah, kita buat benda tuh tawon ni. manalah tau ni tahun last kita buat benda ni." I pulled a deep breath and say, "ok, go ahead." And they had to add, "you'll be part of it right?" I said, "yeah, I will be part of it, don't worry."

after that it was all smiles and sighs of reliefes were heard. They were happy I've given them the green light. Then I realised, eh, I have that effect on people meh? Is that respect or fear? I don't think I'm that strong-headed and kepala angin till I give out fear signals, do i?

but then, yes, i know i have that effect on people. i have such a strong personality that people kind of feel afraid to voice out their concerns whenever they are with me. they have been asking my mum for three years in a row, and mum's answer is always, tanya yun dulu. and by then, they would have expected, i would say no.

so when i said yes, they were very happy. they were actually taken aback that i have agreed to agree with them and decided to join them too. they even said, "senang hati kita, yun dah kata boleh. takot jugak kalao2 yun naik angin tak nak join kita ke hapa ke. yun kalao takde, susah lah kita nak buat benda ni. baguslah dah lembut hati yun."

it actually made me feel really bad. really. i didnt realised how opinionated i was till this episode. where did i get such a bull-headed personality, i don't know. im not sorry for being who i am. im just happy i made other people happy.

or maybe, it's just because i've grown older. the heart has melted a lot. bitterness and all, i wanna chuck them aside. orang buat kita, biar, tu antara tuhan ngan dia. jangan kita buat orang. nanti yang kene jawab, kita sendiri, betol tak?

ah, all happy and smiles. i have no guilty pangs in my heart now. we will proceed and go ahead with plans. whatever will be will be. Inshallah, the event will be a successful one and hope it will mend back ties that have been long broken, Inshallah.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

i used to love this song...

this song was originally sung by Art Fazil, our very own talented artiste. recently i heard our 3rd Spore Idol, Sezairi Sezali singing this song and I am actually quite impressed with his vocals. I wasnt a fan of the 3rd Spore Idol series that ran, so I didnt know who had the better voice. but when Sezairi was singing, i found him having a really husky voice that suited this song so much.  although you can hear he went off-pitch a little here and there, but it was quite a nicely sung song! thumbs up Sezairi.

and i am so pretty sure, Fiza O said the title wrongly. im not sure whether that's the right title to the song. but in any case, have a listen.


Thursday, April 8, 2010

*senyum sipu sipu*

this is actually a very useless entry. i just needed to rant, as usual. aku kan mulut becok. ada je nak berbual. or tangan aku kan gatal, ada je nak type. heh.

but anyway, first i wanna wink at my girlfriend Rin. for letting me know there's a really cute drop dead gorgeous guy in the mrt just now. when you alighted Rin, the train was with lesser people so i had a GOOD LOOK at him. yes, he was handsome burger hahahaha...!! but alas, my plan of 'knocking accidentally' onto him couldnt be carried out coz he alighted at boon lay. *sulking big time*

well, just now i logged into this networking site. actually i have forgotten i have an account in that website, but i was prompted via email that there was "someone interested in you" request. and lucky thing my password is the same everywhere, so i managed to log in. but in any case, there's always a "forgot password" icon to click.

i went to kepo-kepo and see the guy who seems to be interested in me. wah, hensem burger jugak tu mamat. short-cropped hair like nearly botak-head (I LIKE!), wears glasses (I LIKE!), got goatee (I LIKE!). scanned through his personal details. wah, HE'S ARABIC LAH!! he stated himself as Egyptian but working and living in Singapore. all dandy and nice...

but he's only TWENTY-THREE lah. why do i always get to know guys so much younger than me? or am i already TAHAP TUA GANYUT? mwahahahaha...!!! but of course lah, since he is so nice enuff to show interest in me, takkan aku nak jual mahal lak kan? so i replied lah. so right now, i'm actually waiting whether he will reply. meh kita tengok sapa yang kenaaaaa!!! hahahaha...!!

showed mum and as usual, she over-excited liao. but told her, ni sumer tak leh percaya bulat2 mak oi. ni sumer muka tangkap muat as profile pic. the person might be a different person altogether in real life mwahahahaha...!!

but anyway, let's see where this goes on. will keep you updated, sweeties! hehehehehehe...!!!

grrr...

ok fine.

Manchester United is out of the Champions League.

at this moment, i'm hating Arjen Robben.

oh, and, i shall say, all the best Bayern Munich.

Monday, April 5, 2010

the words we end up with...

tring tring... sharing time sharing time... wanna read? dowan? hehehe...!!

ok you know sometimes we come across pain or we had a fall or we had a knock, what do we always say? i always end up "oh nenek terbang!". yes, i always end up with that, automatically. DON'T LAFF. ok lah, laff lah. i know it's farnie. and you know kadang2 we end up with really nasty words that i dont want to really list down lah. ni kira mcm kes melatah lah. like just some rambling nonsense will jump out of the mouth in that moment of terkejotness. you know what im sayinnnn? *baba ali style*

ok recently i heard. it's better to train the lidah to say zikrullah. tak payah yang berat2. Allahu Akbar dah cukup. whatever we doing, during free time, with nothing much in the mind, just say in our heart Allahu Akbar over and over again. it helps the mind store that zikr. the more you store, the better it is. you will end up saying, "Allahu Akbar" rather than "oh nenek terbang" the next time round inshallah. this is by personal experience. although still at times, i do end up with the flying grandma melatah, but it gets lessened.

why am talking about this? here's why. let's imagine this scenario. we are crossing the road, on a zebra crossing and a car zooms past without even waiting for us to cross the road. at that point of time, what would we like to say? "Allahu Akbar" or "nenek terbang"? and what if at that point of time, Allah has stated that, that is the moment we breathe our last. So what will be our last words? we definitely do not want "nenek terbang" to be our last words right? im sure we all always supplicate to Allah saying that we want our khusnul khatimah, that is to have our end in goodness. and what better way to receive khusnul khatimah then to approach it with the name of The Creator?

another way to apply this. you know when we sleep, we are told by the elders to recite the 3 Quls, the Ayatul Kursi, syahadah and doa tidur and then keep the mouth shut and sleep. if you decide to talk again after that, at least say the syahadah again and go back to sleep. there's a reason to this. the elders were teaching us to end our night with words of Allah. when we close our eyes to sleep, we will never know whether we will open our eyes again to see fajr. if it's stated that our lives end at the time we are sleeping, at least we have said our syahadah insyaAllah.

and if we have read all our doas, and still we are unable to sleep, just in our hearts, recite, Allah Allah Allah... till we sleep. dont try long long kalimats. why? reason below.

if we are realy sleepy, just skip everything else, and read the syahadah while sitting up and straight away, lie down and snooze to lalaland. dont try reading ayas while you are sleepy and lying down. you might end up reading ayas incompletely and end up with different meanings (reason for the above paragraph).

i'm not trying to scare you hor. if i scare you im scaring myself too, coz i have a really bad habit of sleeping away before i finish my doa tidur. dont know what i always end up with. and sometimes i do lie on the bed with songs in my ear (mp3 player lah). and then i end up sleeping. wah, danger. tau2 bukak mata dah kat kubur. malaikat tanya "ma rabbuki?", aku jawab "ramy ayach" pasal the last song i was hearing was khalini ma'ak. naudzubillah min zaalik.

ok jokes apart. these are things i think i need to change. i speak to myself before i speak to you. coz i learnt something new so i thought i will share it with you.

in whatever situation we are in, always say the Almighty's name. Be it in Subhanallah, MasyaAllah, Allahu Akbar. or just simply Allah. make it a habit. so that in times of panic or danger, the 1st words that we utter will be of Allah's words, inshallah. not nenek terbang or mak kau meletop. may Allah keep us in His Guidance, InsyaAllah.

yang baik dari Allah, yang buruk dari kesilapanku sendiri.
jazakallahu khair...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

of geylang and clash of the titans...


long weekend and lots of things to talk about. I LIKE. hahahaha...!!

FRIDAY
i actually didnt know what good friday was all about. i know it's a big day for the christians but actually what i didnt know. so i looked up wikipedia, and here's what i found out. and oh by the way, i learnt that when we see the cross, we should say some zikr and look away. the reason for this? i will find out and get more confirmation before i tell you all. my bad, so sorry. i didnt take notice of this. heard but never pay attention. naughty me. but yeah, just look away, ok?

dad drove to masjid for solat jumu'ah. he picked bro-in-law up and then they went to the masjid together. then after he parked the car, the car gave out the alarm and the dad got hyperventilated, coz he didnt know what to do with the car. and the car didnt lock properly after that. so with bro-in-law already in the masjid, dad drove the car back home and then got me to sent him back to the masjid. and i drove the car home. i checked the car, nothing was wrong. it locked properly and no alarm sounded. so i think, he might have unlocked the car before turning off the alarm. that's why the car didnt lock properly. then i went out to fetch dad and bro-in-law and sister after jumu'ah and drove home. bro-in-law and sister spent the friday with us.

and subhanallah, we had an impromptu religious discussion at home after lunch, with the dad and bro-in-law talking about the Al-Quran, Allah Almighty and lots more enlightening things. da macam forum perdana ehwal islam pun ada. in english. and with someone whose arabic is his 1st language, it's nice to hear ayas and hadiths being spoken in arabic. and i learnt a lot too. alhamdulillah. thank you Allah for giving us that moment.

SATURDAY
was supposed to go Tagore Industrial Avenue before heading to Geylang, but when I called them, no one picked up. so i guess they might have an extended holiday. so Tagore was scrapped and we went straight to Geylang. AGAIN. this time we needed to recee new uniform for our kumpulan members to wear for the upcoming Maulud event. we managed to leave our numbers with 2 shops and they will call us once our order has arrived. so later in the month, got to go geylang again to pick the bajus up.

met naqi too coz she was having her al-quran recital class in darul arqam yesterday. we had lunch together and i sent her home too.


went home, slept a bit and went out again after isya' prayers to watch clash of the titans with sisters and bro-in-law. it was a great movie. i enjoyed the visuals. or maybe, im just a visual-movie type of person. i enjoyed every moment of it. aton who was motion-sicked while watching Avatar, felt alright yesterday. she enjoyed it too coz she found some parts funny, especially when the greeks rode giant scorpions. she find that ultra-funny and kept laughing everytime the scorpions came on screen. mwahahahaha..!! reached home nearly 1am and slept like a log hahahaha...!


and oh yes, ManU lost to Chelsea. YIKIES. but still Manchester United FOREVER!!!

SUNDAY
abba saw a pamphlet that says Pioneer Mall is selling $2 dvds. so we went to the dvd shop. saw the dvds but those were the old types ex-rental dvds. the ones no one wants anymore mwahahaha..!! so we ended up with 4 movies which was $6.95 per piece and it was a buy 3 get 1 free offer. ok lah tuh. but still, cheat my feelings one. chet. hahahahaha..!!

so today is more a lazing at home day. i havent even started ironing my clothes. lengit betol lah nak gosok baju. haizzz.....

and monday is approaching again.

view pics here

Thursday, April 1, 2010

thank you...

you know, when i started on this blog, i just wanted a fresh new ranting space. a space where i can voice out a lot of things. i used to rant a lot in multiply (i still have multiply though, add me here.) i even made enemies. when i do sit down and think things over, maybe yes, i was too rash. i spoke too soon, i didnt think abt people's feelings and i hurt them. im sorry. i know i cant turn back time but i hope i am worthy of your forgiveness. (old already, anytime can die, so must mintak mahap).

and i started ranting here too. i've made a pact with myself that i wont publish my personal pics here even though i know you all know who i am. i just feel uncomfortable. whatever pics you see are face-less. i'd rather keep it that way. this blog is more open, anyone can read it. and i dont want to end up stepping on anyone's toes again.

i will try to play safe this time round. not to be too harsh. not to be too vocal. not to be too personal. i thought no one reads this blog. yeah, really! but recently, i found out, with people feed-backing me that they do read up this blog, albeit anonymously. thank you people. and please forgive me if i do sound terrible at times.

this is me, the real me. i dont hide behind my words. i wont change just because you dont like me. im not answerable to anyone but to the Almighty. i can be clown-ish at times, well, actually half of the time. and another half of the time, im just a volcano waiting to erupt. yes, i wont shy away and say that i dont have a temper. i have a kick-ass of a temper. my family and close friends can vouch for that. i'm a scorpio, remember? i sting.

so if you like this blog, just keep on reading. if you dont like it, please, you are allowed to skip it. i didnt put black magic on this page so that you stay glued to it. you pick your choice.

and to those who likes coming back here, thank you for your support. i will keep on ranting, coz, oh well, I LOVE RANTING.

thank you very nice.

ps: today is a very sad day for me. may Allah cure my heart and make me happy again. 8(