the season of the investitures...

Assalam dearies!!

It's been a looooooooooooongggggg time, I know... I just didn't have anything much happening in my life to talk about in these last few months. Life was just work, back home, work, back home. And whatever time left to spent was to catch up on a few spiritual duties. Almaklum, dah tua. Buatlah apa2 yang patot...

So it's just recently that a spruce of events one after another that happened to me. It's a bit overwhelming but I hope to get a hang of it soon.

As you know, I'm quite active with my own society, which is termed as Qaryah, which holds Maulidur Rasul event yearly and I hold the position of Secretary in this Qaryah. The Masjid holds meetings for all the Qaryahs in Jurong (mostly Taman Jurong, Jurong West and Jurong West Extension) monthly so that we get to work together and inform each other of any upcoming events. I attend the meetings religiously as it was a great platform to do networking.

Recently they did a re-certification ceremony which means that all the Qaryahs are still under the patronage of the Masjid, which means the Masjid is our 'Daddy'. To do an event, Masjid has to approve before endorsing our application to be approved by MUIS. Alhamdulillah, the event went well.

And so, 'Daddy' will look after us for the next 2 years. Inshaa Allah.

---

A few months ago, maybe at the end of last year, I was requested to join the Mosque Building Management (MMB) as a member for Masjid Assyakirin. You know, orang melayu cakap LPM Masjid. Maybe I was deemed fit and suitable to be a member of the MMB because I am one of those younger (ahem!) ones sitting in the meetings. The members really tried to persuade me to do up the application form. I was in two minds back then because I don't know whether I am able to do my duties. And this is voluntary. Voluntary duties are bigger responsibilities, coz I don't want to be doing something when Im not ikhlas in my duties.

I kept shaking off the calls. Till one day, a call came. And I was not able to refuse anymore. It was the Executive Chairman of the Masjid itself. How to refuse? Orang dah berharap sangat kat kita. So with Bismillah, I agreed to fill up the form. But not before roping in my dearest Ukhti along (you know who you are!). I thought, well, let's try this, Inshaa Allah...

A few months after sending in the application, there still weren't any news. Maybe, I thought, my application was not approved. Maybe there were some guidelines that I didn't manage to meet up.

But finally it came.

And it came like a shockwave.

I applied because I wanted to start from below.

I wanted to be just a member. I didn't want to hold a position.

But there, I saw it.

I was actually appointed, Assistant Secretary.

Without me knowing.

Hahahah...!

Terperanjat katak akak dibuatnya.

But well, what to do? Given a responsibility, I should strive to do my best. Inshaa Allah. Mesti ada hikmah disebaliknya.

I won't know.

So an investiture was held over at MUIS. Where we are appointed officially for the next two years. An induction programme was held. It was a good investiture. Not really a serious-y investiture I had thought of.

Our Vision for the Masjid

The pledge we had to declare

And the appointment ~

There have been a few things lined up after this - meetings, get-to-know sessions. I guess I have to start carrying an organiser already. The phone is good enought I know. But nothing beats a concrete written down planner.

May Allah make it easy on me to do my duties earnestly, Inshaa Allah...

Make du'a for me friends.

It won't be easy, but Inshaa Allah, it wouldn't be difficult either.

;)

Ilal Liqaa'..!!

Fi amanIllah

12kgs down. and not proud about it.

ola people. how are you? i think it's been ages since i last posted something here. i miss blogging.

since starting on the new job, i've got absolutely no time to do other things. because of the long hours at work, once i reach home, the only thing i wanna do is to plonk myself on the sofa and rest.

and the health hasnt been good too. for a few weeks now, i've been waking up every morning with the urge to vomit. and sometimes, yes, i do vomit. it's not a nice feeling waking up and then doing a merlion. especially when i have to run to the toilet just to do that. all the rush in the mornings are not good for me.

and then everytime i wanna eat, there's this urge to puke. so i started to detest eating. even the smell of food makes me heave a huge breath. i will still force feed myself, then as expected, everything will be expelled out. so i vomit more than i eat.

went to the doctor twice, doc says it's gastritis. got medicine, didnt help much. coz the medicine will be out before it's fully digested. it was that harrowing.

1st month, i lost 7kgs. scary right? then 2 weeks later, im down another 5kgs. i got scared of the weighing machine. i mean, i know im overweight. i still am. but it's the rate that im losing weight that was making me worried. and i miss eating.

and one fine night, i couldn't sleep. i had a toothache. terrible one. imagine, the nausea and stomach upset. and then the toothache. boleh giler dibuatnya. went to work still, and lucky for me, the workplace has dentists. asked one of the dentists to help, and he pulled one tooth for me and said that one more tooth needs a root canal treatment.

VOILA. suddenly i remembered. i read somewhere. a tooth requiring root canal treatment will cause stomach upset and nausea because of the abscess fluid. goodness me. Alhamdulillah, i found my answer. i am very sure that my nausea and stomach upset were caused by the abscess tooth.

the tooth seems a little better now, i think the extraction helped to ease the uneasiness a bit. and alhamdulillah, the appetite is back. although there are mornings that i wake up with a slight tinge of nausea, but alhamdulillah, things are looking a little better. the tooth still requires root canal treatment, but it's too costly, i think i will have to just pull it. bogeh pun bogeh lah, yang penting aku sihat, inshaAllah.

looking back, i make du'a that i will not go through that phase again. it's harrowing, wanting to eat, but wasn't able to. i will make sure i will not utter the word 'diet' again. hahaha!!

anyway, im now down 12kgs from my previous weight. nice to see the weighing scale showing me my weight now, but i wish i had done it the healthier way.

may Allah grant me and you good health always, inshaAllah, Ameen.

ilal liqaa'...!!

no title... just ramblings...

The easiest way not to get hurt, is to not care... But that is the hardest thing to do...

so...

Ya Allah, awasilah langkahku. Agar tidak sering terpijak mereka yang berjiwa kecil.

Apatah lagi jika yang berjiwa kecil itu mempunyai makna yang besar dalam hidupku.

Because I know what hurt is, so I wouldnt want them to be hurt by my words.

and suddenly, i'm an auntie...

or a Khala, to be exact. Alhamdulillah... What a beautiful feeling to be able to address myself as Khala finally, MashaAllah... I became a Khala officially to a nephew.

I know what I'm going to storytell here is not going to be as exciting as what my sister experienced first-hand, but for me it's exciting enough a journey. I love the way Allah has planned every and each day for us, Alhamdulillah...

I was declared not fit for work on Wednesday with URTI and the doctor gave me 2-days MC. Wednesday night, I received a phone-call from the brother-in-law saying that the sister has spotting and has fever. So after a phone-call to the hospital, we decided to 'check-in' the sister to the hospital. I was slightly groggy from the medicines, but I left everything to Allah, and told Dad that he has to follow us.

So the exciting journey started. I tried to play cool driving to the hospital. Nasheed songs playing from the audio player, I sang along in the hope it will kill the butterflies in the stomach. I admit, the-self-confessed-cool-cat was NERVOUS.

And the sister was getting contractions after contractions along the way. That made me more nervous. Tried my level best to keep calm and focused. What with the grogginess from the medicines and the nervousness of hearing the sister inhale-exhale in the back-seat, oh wow, what a wonderful cocktail. My only wish was to let my sister reach the hospital properly and deliver there. Tak nak lah kene berenti kat tepi jalan nak branak punyer pasal. Sekali tak pasal2, dari driver aku jadi mak bidan kang.

Alighted the sister, the brother-in-law and the mum at the lobby while me and Dad go find a parking lot. Serious, to find a parking lot in that situation took the life out of me. Parked car and called mum and mum directed us to where we should go. Waited a while and bro-in-law said it will be a long while before the sister finally gives birth. So we went home.

Thursday, no phone call from them. And when we tried calling them, their cellphones were off. The batteries died on them. Waited till noon, sent the youngest sister for her kindergarten graduation concert rehearsal, had lunch and we were on our way to the hospital. We were trying our luck, and mum was restless due to the no-news period.

On the way, the brother-in-law called and he said my sister has safely delivered their baby. Alhamdulillah. If I was allowed, I would have stopped by the road shoulder to do 'sujud syukur'.

Reached the hospital and the sister was all fine and a while later, the nephew was wheeled in. MashaAllah. And I cried. I know you all have this impression that Im a strong iron lady, but yes, I cry at anything. I cried when the brother-in-law did the azan and iqamah on the nephew. And while I was carrying the nephew, the brother-in-law gave him a taste of a little tamar (date) - and yes, I cried yet again. Haissss... Emotional fool, me.

But Alhamdulillah, everything has tide over beautifully. Dad, Mum, Baby are all back and resting at home. And suddenly my Dad has turned Nana, my Mum has turned Nani and me and my sister have turned into Khalas. Alhamdulillah.

I know this is not as exciting as what my sister is going to enact, but it was an exciting journey for me. And the little one is a darling. And he's my new little boyfriend. Khala loves you.

And I thank Allah for sending my brother-in-law for my sister. Subhanallah, I know you would say that it's his responsibility to take care of his wife, but the way he took care of my sister, I have no words to describe. Even Dad has sung his praises for the brother-in-law. Dad said, he reminded Dad of how he was when Mum gave birth to us three sisters.


And deep in me, I am hoping for a husband as caring and as supportive as he is. InshaAllah. And I can safely say, my brother-in-law and my sister will make fantabulous parents to their little prince(s) and princess(es), InshaAllah...

*the mood to tear is here. so I better stop. Hahaha!!*

Ilal Liqaa'...!!!

i will, one day, send presents to you...

another not so nice news reached my ears today. it made me angry. it made me flare up. it made me want to cry. it's just so dissapointing when i hear news like this. i mean, this is 2011, and i think some people are still living in 1991. where little matters can lead to hating each other's faces. where little matters means aku tak geng kau, kau tak geng aku. and where little matters can be blown up to big matters, and become a whole different story altogether.

im not saying i got proof that anyone has been talking behind my back or in a more aggressive manner, i would say, aku takde lah bukti yang membenarkan rasa hati ni yang dorang ada mengumpat pantat aku dan menjaja cerita yang tak benar. but it's a huge gut feeling in me. and yes, i can also say ni permainan syaitan nak menimbulkan syak wasangka dalam diri aku.

but please lah eh, small matters let it remain as small matters. benda kecik tak yah nak besar2kan, sampai nak berpaling muka sampai tak bertegur sapa. and if they dont know the real story, jangan ambil andaian yang apa yang dorang dengar tuh adalah benar.

aku hormat what we had and i've never, i REITERATE, never talk bad about dorang to anyone we know mutually. even when they ask, i'd shrug it off and say, "alah, takpelah. im fine this way." so i hope the same respect is given to me. whatever gathering they've had with people mutually, janganlah dijadikan gathering tu tempat mengumpat dan memfitnah. aku tak tuduh, aku ingatkan.

dan janganlah jadi manusia takde pedoman main lari2 and tarik2 muka dengan aku. kalau betul aku yang salah, aku yang patot lari. aku yang patot sembunyikkan muka aku. but no. i don't run and i will not run. im still here and if i get a salam from them, i'll gladly return that salam.

pada yang tak tau criter, tolong dengar dari dua pihak sebelum buat keputusan. but in any case, my lips are sealed. aku tak suka nak burukkan orang. aku tak nak makan daging mayat saudaranya. seperti Firman Allah swt: "Dan janganlah kamu mengumpat sesama kamu, adakah seseorang dikalangan kamu suka makan daging mayat saudaranya; tentulah kamu bencinya." (12: Al-Hujjurat).

tapi aku redha. adalah dosa aku yang belum aku taubatkan. im not perfect, and i will never be. aku tak macam dorang, the 'epitomes of righteousness'. and Dad also says, kalau kita naik angin, samalah kita dengan dorang.

dan aku tau, byk pahala aku boleh 'claim' dari dorang if they all continue hobby mengumpat ni. and oh, that reminds me, don't be surprised if suddenly they all find presents at their doorsteps one day, coz the presents will be from me. a way of saying thank you for giving away their pahala to me. terima kasih banyak-banyak.

sekian.

siapa yang makan cili dia yang rasa pedas.

tapi siapa yang tak makan cili, jangan nak mengada-ngada eksen terkena pedas eh.

Assalamu'alaikum.

Ilal Liqaa...'!

aku terima nikahnya...

read this on a cuzzie's FB status... i love it so much... so here it is...

"Aku terima nikah si dia binti si ayah dia dengan mas kahwinnya $... tunai..."

Bunyi macam senang?

Nah ini erti sebenar dia :

“Aku tanggung dosa-dosa si dia dari ibu bapanya, apa saja dosa yang dia buat, dari dedah aurat hingga ke tinggalnya solat, aku tanggung dan bukan lagi ibu bapanya tanggung, dan aku tanggung semua dosa bakal anak-anak aku. Kalau gagal, maka aku fasik, dayus & aku rela masuk neraka dan malaikat Zabaniyah melibas aku hingga pecah badan aku!”

Subhanallah...

I am reminding myself, before reminding you...

Ilal liqaa...'!

my two celebrities at home...

i have two celebrities at home now. They fascinate the guests coming to my house this Eid. I brought in Nila 1st and then I brought in Azrak. I brought in Nila, coz he has such a pretty tail... Then I brought in Azrak coz I thought it would be fun seeing Nila and Azrak flaring their tails at each other.

Introducing Nila and Azrak. My two Siamese Betta fighting fish. Both males, both hate the sight of each other and if they are put in the same tank, they would fight to death. Nila is another name for the colour "Blue" in Malay. And Azrak is "Blue" in Arabic.

I wrote about Nila the other day. And then, a day later I bought Azrak. I put them in the same tank with a divider. Then a while later, Nila looked sick. He didn't want to swim to the surface, instead he preferred to sink to the bottom. That got me worried. Coz personally I like Nila more. Then I did my research. And I realised my mistake.

Bettas are very sensitive to change in water temperature and chlorine. When I filled up the tank with tap water, I forgot to leave it at room temperature 1st and didn't drop it anti-chlorine solution before putting both of them in. Azrak was the more adaptive one. Nila looked like he was gonna die. I quickly shifted both of them out into another container, clean their tank, put drops of anti-chlorine and left the water to set to room temperature before putting them both in.

Alhamdulillah, both are doing fine now. Although Nila still prefer to go to the surface once in a while, I think it's becoz he has a very heavy tail. Azrak is the more active one. Put a finger on the side of the tank, he will come banging his face on the wall of the tank. I think he is a very good candidate to train to jump out of the water to get his food. But I dont think I will want to train him that way. Manalah tau, satu hari I ask my mum to feed them and out jumps Azrak. Dengan mak aku skali, terlompat. Hahahaha...!!

They do flare their tails at each other once a while and I'm pretty sure Azrak will win a dominant fight if they are put together coz he is the more aggressive one. But it's ok, I won't let them fight each other. Both are my darlings. The last time I had a betta, I didn't know how to take care of it till its death. I'm still sorry for that. Now I will make sure I take care of these two coz they are my babies. And I talk to them when I wake up and before going to sleep. I think they know my voice already coz they will keep still when I talk to them hahaha...!!

With proper care, bettas can live up to 3 years. I hope I can be a good 'mother' to them. And I will miss them like crazy when I start work tomorow... Haiyah, the pain of separation. *sob, sob*

Ok lah, till next time when I write again. Take care, sweet lovelies.

Ilal Liqaa...'!!

meet my new beau...

i introduce to you - Nila - my little blue fringetailed Siamese betta fish... Also known as the fighting fish... Handsome tak Nila?

Why Nila? Because he is blue. Nila is blue in Higher Malay.

And seeing how beautiful he flares up his tail everytime I knock on his home, it makes me wanna buy him a sparing partner. Put another fringetail beside him and see them flaring their tails everytime they see each other.

I think I should get another one. I really want to... I will name the next one Azrak. Hehehehe...!!

Ilal liqaa...'!

sabbatical is over... for now...

hey darlings...! i'm back... been away for quite long, aye? miss me? yeah, i think i miss myself... donch care, you wanna call me full of myself, your call... i don't care a hag...

ok lah, joking lah... i still love you all... and i still love me... and i am still my favorite... hehehe...!! anyway, how's things...? all nice and dandy? if yes, Alhamdulillah... if no, InshaAllah... remember, tests are given to us coz Allah loves us... He knows we can overcome it. The catch is, tests are for us to be closer to Allah, not to be further away than Allah... Orite darlings?

the past few months have been full of ups and only a handful of downs for me... the downs, aiyah, no need to talk lah... let them pass away peacefully... ingat2 pun tak guna... buat sakit otak, sakit hati je... kan? kan? kan? i'm just looking forward to the ups... actually i'm MAHA excited about the ups... i can't believe it's finally happening... And i say my thanks to Allah for the wonderful blessings... May all goes well till the time it's gonna happen, InshaAllah... I'm practically counting the months... It's NEARING!!! *excited mode on*

i just finished my Modern Standard Arabic Level 7 exam this noon. Paper was so-so lah... If studied more, will score more... But I did my best, InshaAllah, will pass... Touchwood, if I don't, I hope I won't stop... I'm left with Level 8 then Level 9 then O Levels... And who knows, I might wanna continue to Diploma... Ada ke Diploma in Arabic Studies? Got such thing meh?

Money matters is a bit tied this time round. Puasa, Raya and car matters goes around in the same month... You know lah, renewing the road tax, the insurance and all that jizz... No, I'm not complaining... InshaAllah, can tide through... But it's just the thought of doing everything in the same month that is bothering me... 

Alhamdulillah, my Baby has been very good to me. 4 years with it has been blissful, no major problems... Dad has been hinting for me to try getting a new, bigger baby... But you know lah, the 1st Baby is always the one with the most sentimental attachment. I can't think of the day I will separate from my Baby. I think I will cry my eyeballs out. *thinking of it makes me wanna cry already*

And, oh, forget to mention, Alhamdulillah, sejak dah pandai masuk JB sendiri without escort cars, (usually I need my uncles to follow me around), I think I will do my Raya shopping in JB this year... Mana yang boleh save, kita save lah kan?

And then the 'big' thing in October, InshaAllah... For that, I wanna be a little spendthrift... Bukan slalu dapat shopping gitu macam!! Hehehehe...!!

Apalagik? Hmmm... Oh, I wanna complete my novel which I started not too long ago... I hope I can finish it... This time round, the treatment of the whole novel is a bit more Islamic... Almaklum, dah makin 'muda' ni kan, buatlah cerite yang sesuai ngan umur. Hehehe...!!

And NETBALL. I so wanna start netball again. Mum gave me a good idea the other day. I think I would propose it to the relevant parties after Hari Raya. Mana tau, idea bernas Mum can work out...? *smiling gleefully*

Ok lah, I think this is about it. I will write again when I have the time and got something to talk about. Till then, I will miss you all...

Ilal Liqaa'...!!

updates and updates...

wah, macam dah lama aku tak membebel eh.. as in really ranting about life and the likes... i miss ranting... bukan ranting pokok lah... ranting as in rant-ing... hik hik hik...

what's up people? how's life treating ye' all? me? ok lah, everything's nice and dandy. start of 2011 has been eventful and exciting and i hope the excitement and happiness stays throughout, Inshallah...

had a little scare with dear Dadi's dwindling health. had a fall at home and then was admitted. stayed about half a month in the hospital. it was quite tiring turun naik hospital spending time with the 89 year old fiery lady. but voila, told ya, she's a fiery lady, she's back at home now, although not in the same state she was back then, but Alhamdulillah, still in good health. only more and more forgetful and not mobile... sometimes her stories makes us laugh, no heads no tails but she will tell her story nonetheless... i send du'a that she is always happy.

i passed my arabic level 6, Alhamdulillah, and was on the way to start level 7 but the class had to shut down because there were only 3 students continuing. i have to rejoin level 6 on saturday mornings, and so i will advance to level 7 with this class instead... ok lah, at least i have a revision on level 6 before starting level 7. but tu lah, having class on Saturdays is still getting a little bit of getting used to. lucky thing, it's in arab street. i pamper myself with food or shopping after class. hahaha!!

work has been good... biasalah, ada ups dia, ada downs dia... i gave the conferences in Perth and Puerto Rico a pass. too much to prepare in such a short time... tengok lah, ada rezki, lain2 tempat pun bole pergi kan... inshallah...

there are some other things on the personal level but i think it's very early to talk about. but yes, i really thank Allah for the blessings. i don't really need to announce it over the rooftops. but yes, i will need all your blessings and du'a...

ok lah peeps, i will update more when things happens.. in the meantime, du'a2kan lah yer...

ilal liqaa'...!!

2010 - the end of it...

it feels like only yesterday that 2010 came knocking on our doors announcing its arrival. and now it's gonna leave us behind. time's getting short huh?


how was 2010 for you? good bad? mine, i would say was a rollercoaster ride... i wont go into details, coz i hate dealing with the past. some things are just meant to be the way it happened.


yet, i know i've made mistakes and from the bottom of my heart, i apologize to everyone i've hurt and made war with. we may be entering 2011 but will we live through it? that's something we cannot push aside. i am not an angel but yes, i do get carried away by emotions and those are times the devil in me surfaced. im still a learning person, and i hope i can learn to be a better person Inshallah. again, to all of you, IM REALLY SORRY. please don't keep to heart whatever i've done. i don't want to die burdened.

and alhamdulillah, when times were trying, family and friends were around. i thank Allah for the support i've been given so far. and i pray i'll be blessed with these lovely people around me. 

i have no resolutions. i make no resolutions. i've decided not to. it's useless coz i wont keep them anyway, hahaha!!

i just send du'a for health, rizq and happiness for me and my family. and i send the same du'a for you too my friends. korang pun du'akan untuk aku lah, dapat jodoh yang baik untuk aku dunia and akhirat eh??? hik hik hik...!!

ilal liqaa...!!

~ reflections ~

im feeling quite down these few days. i donno. just too many things on my mind. im sorry i will have to talk in riddles. even expressing one's views and one's feelings nowadays needs to be censored and put in nice words. why? because only other people have hearts. i don't. im a robot what. or better still, im a statue made of stone.

haishhh....

oh to the both of you who just got married, my du'a for you is - Baraka Allahu Lakuma, wa Baraka alaikuma, Wa jamaah baina kuma fee khair. i know the invitation didn't come to me but still i pray the best for both of you. im just too old to bear grudges already. tak lama lagik nak masuk kubur, so nak bengkak2 hati pun tak gunakan. sincerely from the bottom of my heart, i wish you both a wedded bliss till the end of your hayats, inshallah, Ameen...

recently, some things surfaced which really saddened me. people whom i thought are my own. people who won't break my heart and will never be calculative, in the end have shown their true faces. i can't tell you how dissapointed i am. i can't believe how people can just change before i can blink my eyes. and i tot of them as my own. *sigh*

i donno lah. i feel so muddle-headed. i just feel like going somewhere alone. but again, i can't. people will start saying, lah, takkan merajuk. see, they can merajuk, i can't.

all i can do is pray everything will slowly get better. i can't bear the unhappiness anymore. and for the life of me, i WILL NEVER SUGGEST ANYTHING AGAIN. EVER.

haish... whatever lah. yg penting, i'm really sad. thanks for making me feel really alone. thanks for making me feel not wanted. thanks for making me feel guilty. i shall shut my mouth from today on.

thanks eh.

ilal liqaa...!

wrong pillow...

salah bantal lah. seriously, i catch no balls to what is the meaning of salah bantal. aku pakai bantal sama jugak. aku tido yang mcm hapa sampai leher terkehel, bantal pulak disalahkan uwahahahaha...!!

but yeah, on Saturday, i woke up with the neck so stiff, i tot i was paralysed. but then, everything else was moving so i got the real story in the end. went to the market with mum to go to bank and the same time to get myself koyok aka medicated plaster. was quite worried too coz that day i had a lot of driving to do.

i think the koyok worked wonders. you all, ditch the tiger balm ones, that one not good. use the Panaflex ones. super magic. alhamdulillah, the pain started to subside.

today, Wednesday, the pain is back. turning left and right possible to do. looking down is the epic to do. and it gets uncomfortable as and when. and got no time to get Panaflex koyok also. chet.

i have yet to do my homework/revision. how to do homework with  a neck like this? how to look at my book and notes?

but in any case, im not going to let this be a reason untuk jadik pemalas. i'm wearing yellow and black today, and i look like a bumble bee, so i shall fight like a bumble bee. akan ku harungi sakit perit untuk jadik orang pandai, chehwah...!

anyway, i had this weird idea in my mind when i couldnt stand the pain just now. i got reminded of the film Shutter. no need to explain ah, i think you all know. but naudzubillah, ni lah otak working overtime. It's just neck-pain Yun, no need to think of anything else. Ok?

wish me speedy recovery!!

ilal liqaa..!!

if only....

he was at my place yesterday night. it was slightly after maghrib. mum and sis were home. he was wearing a black t-shirt.

mum cooked lontong yesterday. after serving him lontong, i went to the room and did some work on the pc. then i realised that my external hard-disk was dismantled. it seemed that it went crashing to the floor. straightaway, i had a fight with the sis coz i knew she was meddling the pc and she didn't tell me that she destroyed my ex-hd.

while fighting, he came to my room, pulled me and sis away and sat me down. sis went away to her room. he calmed me down saying that he can fix the thing up, not to worry. i was still reeling with anger but he was there, sitted beside me and fixing my ex-hd.

voila, that thing worked in a few moments. i smiled and it was a sense of relief that i knew he was there to fix things for me. he made sure that thing worked and then he went away to talk to the sis. somehow the sis and me settled things and we were talking again.

after a while, he then told me he's making a move. i told him i'll send him down.

somehow we ended up in Sakura, eating another round of dinner. this time, a cuzzie and a friend joined us and he belanja us all. done with dinner, he was doing the payment....

THE ALARM SOUNDED AND I WOKE UP.

haish... it was a dream. a super lovely dream. it felt so real. the little things he did for me in the dream was so real. i can still remember the lighting, the moods, everything. i was all smiles from then on. even till now.

if things are going to be as sweet as what the dream shows me, i hope it's going to be real soon enuff. one thing i really liked about the whole thing was that, the dream showed the real me - angry, short-tempered - but he was there to calm me down. if only the real deal is this;  that there will be a man who will be the calming effect in my life, i think i will be a very happy person.

if only...

but i thank Allah for the dream. mimpi tu permainan tidur, i know. but im happy it happened. it made me really happy.

*smilez*

ilal liqaa...!

azan in the middle of banquet

ni bukan criter dongeng eh. ni criter benar. meh sini i story.

as usual, my wednesday routine is almost the same. i will knock off from work and make my way to Bugis as i have my arabic class every wednesday evening. if i can solat, i will do my solat asar at Masjid Sultan 1st, then go to Banquet to eat early dinner. if not, it will be straight to Banquet.

so yesterday, after buying my nasik ayam at Banquet Raffles Hospital, i chose a seat and was halfway through chomping when i heard the azan. clear and crisp, at 6 in the evening. i tot it was someone's handphone giving out the azan as a ringtone or something. but then it continued on. takkan ringtone lama nah?

and being the kepo that i am, i turned around and there i saw, this pakcik standing in front of the Banquet's door, on the staircase beside Spinelli's, with his right hand on his right ear and he was calling out the azan like a pro-muadzin. everyone was looking at him.

done with the azan, he actually started reciting verses from the surahs in the Al-Quran. He started with Al-Baqarah then a while later, he went out, to puff a cigarette (*wide-eyed*), then came back and stood at the same place. then he started again. i think i heard Al-Fatehah, then I heard Ayatul Kursi and donno what else.

seriously speaking, my hair was standing on its ends. ntahlah kenapa, tetiba mcm seram gitu. then i busied myself with my homework and i didnt hear him anymore. i didnt even realise when he made his way out of Banquet.

i always see this pakcik on every Wednesday at the same time. usually he will talk to himself. the 1st time i saw him, i tot he was speaking via a earpiece coz his hand was on his ear. but when he turned left and right, i saw no earpiece in either ear. usually he will be talking about "anak kurang ajar", "anak tak kenang budi", or "mak bapak tak tau ajar anak".

but yesterday was a different topic altogether. when he called out the azan, he really sounded like those muadzins you hear in Singapore masjids, i think he's better. and if he can read out quite a number of verses in the Quran, that shows he knows it quite well.

kesian jugak aku tengok pakcik ni. i've heard of people who goes "gila isim". meaning that dah tersalah bawak pelajaran agama. i think he might be one of those. last time when i was living in Pasir Panjang/Buona Vista, there were quite a number of people who are like these. they are very intelligent, but in a different way that no one understands them anymore.

i remember a man who used to live in the same area in Pasir Panjang. he was a student of some madrasah and then he went to pesantren or something. my mum said he correctly predicted that she will be the only one among her siblings who will marry a man of the same race ie Bangla. and i remember bumping into him in East Coast Park or something. he said that i am a budak susah nak jaga but dah besar nanti dia senangkan mak bapak dia tapi dia ada penyakit. senangkan mak bapak part im not sure, but inshallah, i am always striving towards that. but the penyakit part is true. and at that time, my illness hasnt even surfaced.

and he can spill the beans of your life even if you never tell him anything. kadang2 rahsia kita sumer dia bole bawak kuar, which is scary lah. coz rahsia is supposed to be rahsia what... hehehehe...!!

and usually when he says something, and we mcm percaya tak percaya gitu, he will ask, "percaya ke tak? tak percaya?" and he will knock his head with his palm, the bony area above the wrists. only when we say, "percaya." then he will stop knocking his head. you can actually see his temple and his forehead full of black marks/bruises. it's like he is being cursed with the knowledge of being able to see things beyond human ability.

interesting yet scary hor?

ok lah, i just hope the azan man will not do anything unusual again next week when im enjoying my dinner. kang tak pasal2 dia bersolat kat tengah2 Banquet, lagik lah sumer ternganga tengok dia mwahahahahaha...!!!

ok chows!

ilal liqaa'!

the black atlas moth...

this thing has been after me for quite some time now... and the great thing is dia macam tau aku phobia kat dia... asek carik aku je!


yes, im phobic towards it. butterflies, i love. black moth, i no like. you may ask, like, what is the freaking difference? I DONT KNOW. my fear is very selective lor.


aku pun tak tau sejak bila aku tak berkenan ngan dia. but i realised that whenever i see it, my hair will stand on its ends, and i will stand rooted, and i will automatically want to cry. even typing about it makes the hair on my tengkuk stand.


a few times these creatures came menyinggah at my corridor and lift-landing. kan aku ni step sumer brani, but if you want to see me scared, these are the moments. just put a black moth in front of my doorstep and i'll be scared shitless.


last saturday, dad wanted to get murtabak for dinner. as soon as he stepped out of the house, i heard him saying to mum, "wah, kupu2 besar!" terus aku mcm nak melalak coz i started visualising the big black monster in my mind. mum was like, "eh, nanti yun takot!" straightaway, the instructions from yours truly was to close door close windows. coz it was perched just atop the corridor. and i can see it when i watch tv. IT WAS LIKE VERY SCARY LOR.


and when the windows were closed, i could see its shadow, it was flying about outside the corridor. if i was outside during that moment, i swear i would have fainted there and then. even when i woke up to watch soccer, it was still flying about at the corridor. wahlao wey. creepy lah sey.


the sunday, i woke up late and mum said, the moth was still there when dad went to the market to get breakfast. kerana sayangkan anak dara dia yang ni, sanggup dia menghalaukan moth tu untuk aku tau. tu pasal aku sayang skali ngan abba aku mwahahahaha...!!


and i tot dah settle criter nya.


just now, before going home, i had this urge to eat Polar egg tarts. i saw them in the Cheers store. so i went to get the tarts and queued up to pay. the queue was very long. and suddenly i heard the cashiers screaming about.


and all of a sudden i saw A BLACK ATLAS MOTH, flying towards me. sumpah, it was straight out of a horror movie for me. i thought i heard the "Jaws" background music playing when it was flying towards me!


my knees went so weak and i nearly wanted to run off with the egg tarts without paying. but then, i took so much time thinking. it was already on its way towards me. lucky thing, otak cepat and i swatted it with the wallet. slamat wallet aku yang long type. pegang the ujung, and the other ujung was swatting it away. i could feel its weight on the wallet when i swatted it away. that thing is super huge, like dua tapak tangan aku lor.


and the thing actually flew out of the store. shit man. mata aku dah berair tau. tarik napas panjang2 and then i was okay. si mamat belakang aku pun tak leh harap. bukan nak tolong halaukan. dia pun takot gak nya. tsk. tsk.


i messaged mum on my way out. as usual the mum panicked and called me. coz she knows how i am super phobic towards it. but i told her i was okay. i told her im going home by cab. memang niat balik nak naik cab pun coz i was having flu symptoms. with this, lagiklah sepatotnya aku naik cab. kang tak pasal2 aku menurun kat tengah jalan kang, naudzubillah min zaalik.


gua pk gua terror. but gua takot dua benda. evil clowns and black atlas moth. so actually gua tak terror mana lah mwahahahaha...!!


mak kata agaknya orang nak datang minang aku kot, sampai dua kali dalam span dua hari si kupu-kupu itam ni dtg menyinggah kat aku. aku ameenkan je lah. doa baik per... ameenkan je lah... betul tak? hehehehe...!!


and to those yang tak tau apa tu Black Atlas Moth, ni dia. it can be very huge like dua tapak tangan Michael Jordon lor... this pic is by my sister Yan, she clicked it while we were in Desaru last year.


*squirming while uploading the pic*

fear is a factor...

my fb status says: passed by a group of rowdy boys at the backend of Raffles Hospital. They seemed to spot me from far and I had a feeling they wanted to mcm2 with me. Read Ayatul Kursi and I passed by them safely, Alhamdulillah. Im nvr gonna walk there alone ever again. Allah saja yg tau how scared I was.

 

and yes, i was scared shitless. they were freaking reeking of alcohol and cigarettes. so tell me, how not to be scared?

come, i story from abc.

walked to bugis mrt from school alone today. dearest habibati, naqi, didnt attend class today coz she was tied up at work. the other two darlings, syah and nuraini, got fetched by their parents. so tinggallah aku terkontang-kanting jalan sorang2 dari skola ke bugis mrt.

last week, i was alone too. i walked the same way. and there were some other pedestrians with me. so just now, i repeated the stunt of walking on the backend. EPIC WRONG MOVE.

halfway through the route, i saw a group of rowdy boys. they spotted me from afar and they were like arranging themselves to barricade me from walking pass. you know, like making a wall before taking a free kick in a football match. LIKE THAT. SERIOUS. my heart was thumping so hard, i tot i heard it thumped. the thought of doing a u-turn did occur but then i cancelled that coz i was scared they might give chase. i was alone leyyyy... scream oso no use.

then i remembered a story i read. held my right hand over my left chest and read the ayatul kursi. i braved myself and walked towards them. i had this thought i will kick their balls if they decide to mcm2 with me. but there was no need. just as i read the ayatul kursi, they kinda laughed around and split themselves into two groups as i walked pass them. they were on my left and right. i walked with my head high up, act brani lah. padahal, padahal... and everything so was blurry i didnt even hear what they were saying to me.

alhamdulillah, nothing happened. i nearly stood rooted when i passed by them safely. yes, i repeat, i was scared. the only thought was to get pass by them. syukur alhamdulillah...

only in the mrt, i had this urge to cry but no lah, i where got crybaby one. i busied myself with Facebook. and voila, i reached Pioneer liao.

and oh, the story that i remembered? i donno. i remember reading this story. about a man who used to rob and rape girls who walked on a lonely road. but one day, a muslimah passed that road, but he didnt do anything to the muslimah. the next day he was caught, and the muslimah saw him on the papers and recognised him. she went to the police station to testify that the man didnt do anything to her the night before. the man said, usually he does. and the night before, he did have the evil intention to do harm to the woman, but he saw two big men/being walking on the muslimah's right and left. he didnt dare to do anything.

the woman was shocked. she said, "but, i was walking alone but i was reciting the ayatul kursi." upon asking around the religious teachers, she was told that maybe becoz she was reading the ayatul kursi, the malaikats must be protecting her from harm as summoned by Allah Almighty. coz we all know Ayatul Kursi is ayat pendinding for the believers.

with this believe, i took the gamble and did what i did. and another factor that made me really confident was because, although i am not able to do my solat, i still had my wudhu'. my ustazah always reminds us to be in wudhu' state all the time. it protects us from all the unwanted things.

 

alhamdulillah, i came home safely. told the mum, and i promised her i will never walk that alley alone again.

and the image of them barricading themselves is still playing in my mind. gah!

it's ok lah. i will sleep it off. thank You Ya Allah. thank You.

ilal liqaa'...!