~ reflections ~

im feeling quite down these few days. i donno. just too many things on my mind. im sorry i will have to talk in riddles. even expressing one's views and one's feelings nowadays needs to be censored and put in nice words. why? because only other people have hearts. i don't. im a robot what. or better still, im a statue made of stone.

haishhh....

oh to the both of you who just got married, my du'a for you is - Baraka Allahu Lakuma, wa Baraka alaikuma, Wa jamaah baina kuma fee khair. i know the invitation didn't come to me but still i pray the best for both of you. im just too old to bear grudges already. tak lama lagik nak masuk kubur, so nak bengkak2 hati pun tak gunakan. sincerely from the bottom of my heart, i wish you both a wedded bliss till the end of your hayats, inshallah, Ameen...

recently, some things surfaced which really saddened me. people whom i thought are my own. people who won't break my heart and will never be calculative, in the end have shown their true faces. i can't tell you how dissapointed i am. i can't believe how people can just change before i can blink my eyes. and i tot of them as my own. *sigh*

i donno lah. i feel so muddle-headed. i just feel like going somewhere alone. but again, i can't. people will start saying, lah, takkan merajuk. see, they can merajuk, i can't.

all i can do is pray everything will slowly get better. i can't bear the unhappiness anymore. and for the life of me, i WILL NEVER SUGGEST ANYTHING AGAIN. EVER.

haish... whatever lah. yg penting, i'm really sad. thanks for making me feel really alone. thanks for making me feel not wanted. thanks for making me feel guilty. i shall shut my mouth from today on.

thanks eh.

ilal liqaa...!